I ultimately want to work on a cruise ship … whether for half a year … a year … or for a long long time …
as you know … i told her that i like her … but that doesnt mean anything right ?
when you like someone … you’re happy with them … but nothing else …
it doesnt mean anything significant in a long term point of view …
she told me she likes me too … but should that mean anything ?
probably not …
So i wanted to tell her … but i chickened out …
I told her … i was hoping to tell her something more than liking her …
I want to tell her that i love her …
I love you … three simple words … so easy to say … yet so hard to say ….
the moment i was typing the sms … i thought like i always do …
I know the consequences … i know every outcome … and how bad they will all turn out …
so i ended the sms … then typed soemthing stupid like i always do …
i was going to say osmething impossible … thats what i wrote …
to her itll mean nothing … to me … its the truth …
I want to tell her everything …
I love you … i want to bring you happiness … i want to shelter you from the rain … i want to give you warmth when its cold … i want to be the penguin in your life … I want to spend the rest of my life with you …
i also know that i want to go to paris … i want to work on the cruise ships … i want to be freee …
so i didnt tell her … if i cant give her happiness … i surely wont be the person to hurt her either …
as i sit here … in this dark corner … i weep in blood then wash my face with tears …
yet i smile … i laugh … i feel happy that i will never make you sad …
